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Hajra And Her Inner Debate

by | Jan 14, 2015

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Once there was a girl named Hajra, one day she was waiting for her favorite television program but strange thoughts were dominating her mind. Her eyes were fixed on television but her mind was elsewhere. She was feeling herself in a different world. She felt uneasy and disturbed. Then she said to herself, “Those few words have ruined my evening, why I am taking this matter so seriously”

Hajra tried to focus on the television program but still, some words disturbed her mind. She listened to music but she heard a strange voice telling her that this is the ultimate weakness and a real loss. Why should one let a show or song influence one’s life? One should be affected by a wise saying or a good deed. A useful world can raise the spirit of its recipient.

Hajra was worried by these inner voices.

It disagreed with her usual thoughts. She said to herself that this anxiety is the result of Sana’s words, which are still echoed in her mind. Why should I think about what she said? I have been spending such a life since my childhood. I like music and dance. She settled herself closer to the television and moved to a different chair.

Hajra tried her best to overlook her words and focus on the program. But suddenly tears came to her eyes. Then again internal voice whispered to her “What weakness! Some minutes ago, you were smiling for no reason. You were amazingly enjoying the music. Now what is this why are you crying? Are you living in a world of misconception? Or it is some miserable sadness which causes you to cry for no special reason. She remembered the unlikely source of her uneasiness. She was not used to hearing such an inner dialogue.

Could it be the outcome of Sana’s arguments, which might be truth and guidance? The music on the T.V. ended and Hajra still felt an internal struggle. She tried to disremember her friend’s words and keep to her usual behavior, yet the word haram kept resounding in her mind. What could haram mean, Disobedience, Allah’s displeasure, or Hell?

Oh, yes. She recalled Sana’s recitation of some specific Qur’anic verses:

Quran Says:

فَإِن لَّمْ تَفْعَلُوا۟ وَلَن تَفْعَلُوا۟ فَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱلنَّارَ ٱلَّتِى وَقُودُهَا ٱلنَّاسُ وَٱلْحِجَارَةُ ۖ أُعِدَّتْ لِلْكَٰفِرِينَ

…then be on your guard against the fire of which men’s stones are the fuel, it is prepared for the unbelievers. 

(Al-Baqara, 2: 24)

And it is also stated, 

إِنَّ ٱلْأَبْرَارَ لَفِى نَعِيمٍ

Most surely the righteous shall be in bliss; 

عَلَى ٱلْأَرَآئِكِ يَنظُرُونَ

on thrones, they shall gaze; 

تَعْرِفُ فِى وُجُوهِهِمْ نَضْرَةَ ٱلنَّعِيمِ

you will recognize on their faces the brightness of bliss. 

(Al-Mutaffifin, 83: 22-24)

In Surah Tahreem, Allah states, 

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ قُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا ٱلنَّاسُ وَٱلْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَٰٓئِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ ٱللَّهَ مَآ أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ

O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allāh in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.

(Al-Tahreem, 66:6)

Hajra extremely thought about how she had been spending her time in unIslamic ways and concluded that such practices would displease Almighty Allah and that she would eventually suffer for her actions. And she might suffer the following day or years later. She recalled how much it hurt when her finger involuntarily touched the bottom of a hot iron and how she ran to find aid. Would there be a remedy in Hell?

Again hijra remembered some words from the Qur’an:

وَأَمَّا مَنْ أُوتِىَ كِتَٰبَهُۥ وَرَآءَ ظَهْرِهِۦ

…And as to him who is given his book behind his back, 

فَسَوْفَ يَدْعُوا۟ ثُبُورًا

He will cry out for destruction

وَيَصْلَىٰ سَعِيرًا

And [enter to] burn in a Blaze. 

إِنَّهُۥ كَانَ فِىٓ أَهْلِهِۦ مَسْرُورًا

Indeed, he had [once] been among his people in happiness;

إِنَّهُۥ ظَنَّ أَن لَّن يَحُورَ

Indeed, he had thought he would never return [to Allāh]. 

(Al-Inshiqaq, 84:10-15)

Hajra left the television room and went to her bedroom. She felt as if someone was mocking her deepest feelings.

“How disgraceful it is for one to enjoy this worldly life and forget about the eternal one! It is a sign of the utmost faintness to allow wish and fun to dominate one’s life without the least consideration for Allah’s orders” the voice told her.

Confused, hajra sat down and thought deeply about the various thoughts filling her mind. Sana could advise and guide her toward the right path. Hajra made up her mind to see her soon. She quickly felt great ease and relief at this idea. She fell asleep fantasizing about the next day’s meeting and the meaning of true repentance.

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