It’s a tremendous job to raise kids. Parents are responsible for everything about their children, from manners to habits and behaviour. However, this responsibility doubles when it comes to raising Muslim children. Sometimes, we become too protective of our Muslim children and try to provide them with comfort.
However, there must be a distinction between what’s necessary and access. Extremes are always dangerous, and we must identify a modest path to raise our children as good Muslims. Some mothers don’t like to teach their daughters how to cook or do house chores so that their beautiful girls don’t lose their elegance; similarly, some fathers sower money on their children and never deny any of the material demands of children. In this way, such parents incorporate their children’s negligence and ignorance of kindness.
Islam is universal, applicable in an identical way everywhere, and holds its supporters to the same rules no matter where they live, in whichever century, and in whichever circumstances. It is based on the principle of the supremacy of Allah over the self or anyone or anything else, responsibility to Him from Whom nothing is hidden, and the conquest of the self (desire) to the rules of Islam. Its symbol is the Sajda which is to recognize that obedience to Allah takes precedence over self-indulgence and the purpose of life and fulfillment is to live and work only for the Pleasure of Allah.
There is no compromise in Islam about this fundamental philosophy of the Supremacy of Allah over the Nafs (self, desire) and everything and everyone else. For those who choose to follow their passions against the orders of Allah, He said:
أَرَأَيْتَ مَنِ اتَّخَذَ إِلَهَهُ هَوَاهُ أَفَأَنتَ تَكُونُ عَلَيْهِ وَكِيلًا
Have you (O Muhammad) seen him who has taken his desire as his Elah (god)? Would you then be a Wakil (a disposer of his affairs or a watcher) over him?
(Furqan 25: 43).
Allah called following your desires against the orders of Allah, Shirk, and equivalent to worshiping desires instead of worshiping Allah and even prohibited Rasulullah (SAW) from interceding for the forgiveness of such people.
As Muslim parents, we must be vigilant in raising Muslim children. Sadly, the practice is contrary to what should be adopted. Some parents are too strict, while some are too careless about bringing up their Muslim children as Religious Person. Remember one thing, as a Muslim parent, and you will contribute to a person in society.
Thus, as Muslim parents, our contribution to the community must be very positive. If they cannot carry the burden of others, we must raise Muslim children to be self-dependent at least. This article will give you some quick tips on how to grow Islamic children to be independent. The tips inspired by the interview of Queen Rania of Jordan said when Oprah asked her how do you raise her children & they are royalty.
How to raise Muslim children to be self-dependent:
- Tell your Muslim children to do their original stuff by themselves and be less dependent on servants and maids.
- Children must clean and tidy up their rooms themselves.
- Develop the habit of self-serving in your children. Getting oneself a glass of water will not rip off their respect even if there are plenty of servants at your home.
- Fix a day, like the weekend, when your children must arrange their cupboards.
- Try to organize the timings or occasions of receiving gifts. For example, your children must expect less reward other than Eid days.
- People raise boys to depend on their mothers and sisters in Muslim households. This habit sometimes leads to stereotypical behavior that Muslim societies accuse. Involve your boys in house chores.
- Relate examples and stories of Prophets and Sahaabas and how they managed their affairs self-dependently.
Once Omar bin Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) was with his companions at night, a gust of wind came & blew out the lantern! So Omar bin Al-Khattab got up & re-lit the torch; his friends spoke:
If only you asked one of us, O’Amir of the believers,
What harm has this brought me? I got up & I am Omar,
I return & I am Omar.
The incident mentioned above shows that doing your chores yourself isn’t hazardous but making other people feel lesser than you are.
It is an arduous task to raise kids, primarily Muslim children. However, we as Muslim parents must not give up our efforts to make our children perfect human beings and Muslims.