Do you think upbringing a child is a fun or a challenge? Well it is all about the choice you make. Parenting is an art (you may call it a social science as well) and if you are good at it, it is nothing but fun and enjoyment and if you lose interest, temperament and nerves… all of a sudden it becomes a mission impossible.
A pious son of pious forefathers, Allah’s Apostle was born with the most fabulous nature still Allah arranged to nurture him S.A.W in the best way to teach us that the tarbiyyah (upbringing) is as important in Islam as the inherited qualities are thought to be. Prophet Muhammad S.A.W was brought up in a very clean and healthy environment. People of Makkah and the territories nearby used to speak the finest Arabic. They would send their new-born to the rural areas where these babies would grow up learning good manners from the Daees (female baby sitters) that were well versed in training kids.
Besides the arrangement of a healthy, learning and caring environment, a Muslim parent(s) must also try to keep following suggestions in mind:
Fairness in Parenting:
A Muslim generally and a Muslim parent/ruler particularly must not be unfair since the message they convey travels long distances and time.The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:
“Treat your children fairly, treat your children fairly.”
Sunan an nisai
Did you think it’s all about having a cute, cheeky, sweet lill baby? I am afraid you are wrong. To enjoy this cute child you need to be patient with little problems they entail!
The Prophet S.A.W took a child in his lap for Tahnik (i.e. he chewed a date in his mouth and put its juice in the mouth of the child). The child urinated on him, so he asked for water and poured it over the place of the urine.
Don’t Let your Child cry:
Dear Mothers: Never keep yourself busy on phone or whatever when your child is crying. Nothing is and nothing should be more important to you than him/her.
Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger S.A.W as saying:
“The crying of the child (starts) when the satan begins to prick him.”
Remember: To Prophet S.A.W, a child’s problem and his mother’s are more important than prolonged prayer!!
The Prophet said:
“When I stand for prayer, I intend to prolong it but on hearing the cries of a child, I cut it short, as I dislike to trouble the child’s mother.”
Daddy is not going too far, he is here!!
Never lie to your kids; be truthful at any cost. If you can’t tell them the truth, teach them that they cannot understand everything.
Once Prophet Muhammad S.A.W saw a Muslima calling her son and promising him to give something. Prophet Muhammad S.A.W asked her if she would give him something or not. She said that she had a date for the child. Allah’s Apostle said:
“If you did not give him anything you would have been written as a liar.”
- Don’t watch that you stop your kids from watching.
- Never abuse your children.
“Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (i.e., an evil-doing).
- Never scold, punish your child in front of others especially their friends. Respect your child’s self-respect.
- Do not try to be a cool parent by sacrificing your values, be a parent, a teacher, a friend and a guide not a silly class fellow.
- Never hit your kid on his/her face. Prophet S.A.W forbade us from doing so because the face is a sensitive part and also, again, it hurts the self-esteem of a child.
“The Messenger of Allah S.A.W prohibited us from hitting across the face”
Gain the trust of your child:
Would you trust a liar, cheater, and scolder? Not even a child would even if the person is his/her father. It is finally trust and love that will strengthen the bond of love between you and the child and will help you up bring the child in the best way.
Guessing this is the end??? No! Parenting is an art you need you spend more time learning. Share with us your secret of being a good Muslim Father or a Muslim Mother and help us share with your friends the art of Islamic parenting as well!