Do you think upbringing a child is a fun or a challenge? Well it is all about the choice you make. Parenting is an art (you may call it a social science as well) and if you are good at it, it is nothing but fun and enjoyment and if you lose interest, temperament and nerves… all of a sudden it becomes a mission impossible.

Won’t you like to know (revise) how an ideal Muslim should be brought up? Let us start learning the art of ideal Islamic Parenting by knowing how our dear prophet Muhammad S.A.W was brought up.

A pious son of pious forefathers, Allah’s Apostle was born with the most fabulous nature still Allah arranged to nurture him S.A.W in the best way to teach us that the tarbiyyah (upbringing) is as important in Islam as the inherited qualities are thought to be. Prophet Muhammad S.A.W was brought up in a very clean and healthy environment. People of Makkah and the territories nearby used to speak the finest Arabic. They would send their new-born to the rural areas where these babies would grow up learning good manners from the Daees (female baby sitters) that were well versed in training kids.

Besides the arrangement of a healthy, learning and caring environment, a Muslim parent(s) must also try to keep following suggestions in mind:

  1. Fairness in Parenting:

A Muslim generally and a Muslim parent/ruler particularly must not be unfair since the message they convey travels long distances and time.The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:

 “Treat your children fairly, treat your children fairly.”

Sunan an nisai

  1. Being Patient:

Did you think it’s all about having a cute, cheeky, sweet lill baby? I am afraid you are wrong. To enjoy this cute child you need to be patient with little problems they entail!

The Prophet S.A.W took a child in his lap for Tahnik (i.e. he chewed a date in his mouth and put its juice in the mouth of the child). The child urinated on him, so he asked for water and poured it over the place of the urine.

  1. Don’t Let your Child cry:

Dear Mothers: Never keep yourself busy on phone or whatever when your child is crying. Nothing is and nothing should be more important to you than him/her.

Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger S.A.W as saying:

“The crying of the child (starts) when the satan begins to prick him.”

 Sahih Muslim

Remember: To Prophet S.A.W, a child’s problem and his mother’s are more important than prolonged prayer!!

 The Prophet said:

“When I stand for prayer, I intend to prolong it but on hearing the cries of a child, I cut it short, as I dislike to trouble the child’s mother.”

Sahih Al-Bukhari

  1. Daddy is not going too far, he is here!!

Never lie to your kids; be truthful at any cost. If you can’t tell them the truth, teach them that they cannot understand everything.

Once Prophet Muhammad S.A.W saw a Muslima calling her son and promising him to give something. Prophet Muhammad S.A.W asked her if she would give him something or not. She said that she had a date for the child. Allah’s Apostle said:

“If you did not give him anything you would have been written as a liar.”

  1. Don’t watch that you stop your kids from watching.
  2. Never abuse your children.

“Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (i.e., an evil-doing).

Sahih Al-Bukhari

  1. Never scold, punish your child in front of others especially their friends. Respect your child’s self-respect.
  2. Do not try to be a cool parent by sacrificing your values, be a parent, a teacher, a friend and a guide not a silly class fellow.
  3. Never hit your kid on his/her face. Prophet S.A.W forbade us from doing so because the face is a sensitive part and also, again, it hurts the self-esteem of a child.

“The Messenger of Allah S.A.W prohibited us from hitting across the face”

Riyad as-Salihin

  1. Gain the trust of your child:

Would you trust a liar, cheater, and scolder? Not even a child would even if the person is his/her father. It is finally trust and love that will strengthen the bond of love between you and the child and will help you up bring the child in the best way.

Guessing this is the end??? No! Parenting is an art you need you spend more time learning. Share with us your secret of being a good Muslim Father or a Muslim Mother and help us share with your friends the art of Islamic parenting as well!

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4 Responses to Art of Islamic Parenting

  1. Abubakar usman says:

    Jazaka llahu khayran, thanks for the write up. My question goes thus: my wife is too temperamental, how will I train my daughter not to be temperamental like her mother?
    I need your urgent reply. Thanks

  2. sara.sultana says:

    JazakAllah Brother:
    In your case you are suggested a DON’T first. Don’t ever criticize your wife’s temperament in front of your child (It is not meant to say that you do so, but just be cautious).
    Keep telling your child the stories of patience of Mothers of Momineen e.g Hazrat Ayesha R.A Hazrat Fatima R.A etc. mentioning how graceful they were even when facing pressure. Make her feel how ungraceful is it being temperamental. You can be the best counselor of your child. Good Luck.
    May Allah be your Helper and Guide Ameen.

  3. Maryam says:

    asalamalaikom! tenx for this lovely site or link u just came on time,,,!i could hardly take my stress out of this kind of father my son son has,,,alhamdulillah ,i am divorced from this man,,,being a battered wife..but the problem is h never gave m my legal divorce papers,,and stiill torturing m n my son ,,i feel pity for my son,,pliz help us through your duaas,,

  4. sara.sultana says:

    Dear sister Maryam:
    Many dua’s for you and your son. Please keep reciting Dua e Kunoot for your son and also the zikr ‘Ya Arham r Rahimeen’.
    May Allah relieve your stresses and bless you with eternal peace. Ameen sua ameen

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