The institution of marriage has been given tremendous importance in Islam. Marriage is a legal contract or social union between spouses.
The Holy Prophet (SAW) said,
“The best people of my Umma are those who get married and have chosen their wives and the worst people of my nation are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors.” (Mustadrakul Wasail by Muhaddith Noori, Vol 2, Pg 531).
It is that there is no guarantee for any marriage to be successful or fulfill an ultimate happiness for the bride or groom. But is Islam there is a guarantee that if you fulfill the conditions and guidelines of obeying God and His messenger (SAW), in your marriage, you will have a real potential of reaching that marital happiness that everyone seeks.
The Secret For Longevity Of Islamic Marriage
The keyword behind any happy Islamic marriage is “tolerance “, i.e. don’t make excuses to your spouse uselessly rather you should discuss the matters.
If you are successful in finding a good spouse for you then the success of that happy marriage life surely depend on this Hadith.
The Prophet Muhammad (SAW):
“No one likes seeking excuses (for people) more than Allah, and for that He had sent the givers of glad tidings and the warners.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Keep this thing in mind that everyone makes mistakes. Then it will be very easy for you to forgive your spouse if he/she makes any mistake.
“Those who spend in good times and bad times, swallow their anger, pardon and forgive people, and Allah likes those who excel in their deen.’ (Al Imran 3: 159)
Show some tolerance:
Another dangerous point for a happy married life to become a separated family is a discovery of any wrong habit in your spouse that was not known before the marriage. To deal with such situation again the safe zone or the life line to make the relationship safe is “tolerance”. this time the tolerance is in the way to make courteous gestures to let your spouse realize that he/she does not like that particular habit of yours. You can also negotiate politely to your spouse to make this bad habit change into a good habit. And in doing this you have to stand by your spouse to help him/her.
Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. So don’t discuss the bad habits of your spouse to anyone else as in the Quranic verse:
“…they are your garments and you are their garments…” (Al Baqarah 2: 187)
Solve misunderstandings as soon as possible
Shaytan (devil) is always there to cause fitna (false/wrong temptations) for people especially between the husband and wife. So it’s important to solve the disputes as soon as possible otherwise small misunderstandings can be a cause of long fights or even separation.
Prophet Muhammad (SAW) also said that :
“Don’t let disputes stay until the next day but solve them the same day.”
Understand Each Other’s Nature
Both husband and wife should try not to criticize each other’s nature. But to accommodate and adjust with your spouse’s habits and nature. As the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) states that
“Every person is born on a state of fitrah, it is their parents that change them to a Jew, Christian or Fire worshipper.” (Al Bukhari and Muslim)
So nature does not change easily. The only solution is to be tolerant and accommodating for your spouse.
Be Frank
Misunderstandings happen when couples are not honest with each other. Give space to your spouse so that he/she can feel safe to speak their mind with due consideration to your feelings. When the communication is not frank it hinders the development of closeness and deep understanding of each other’s inner self.
