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The Best Couple Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and Aisha (R.A) [Part 1]

by | Jan 3, 2011

“Your Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) was Pedophile” the most infuriating comment of the 21st century quoted by critics of Islam and Muslims try to avoid it as long as possible. Before going into details one must be wondering what a Pedophile is and Why the Best person in History Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is charged by this? Pedophile or Child Molester or Child offender or Child Predator is a person who is attracted towards young Children and Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) marriage with Aisha (R.A) is said to be an act of this.  There is no denying the fact that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is the most cultured and well-behaved mortal who ever walked on the face of this earth.  His words, knowledge and personality are incomparable to anyone. His kindness, love and affection guided humanity from the darkest valleys of ignorance and into the light of satisfaction and truthfulness. Although he was not educated from any school or any scholarly institution, still he was popular for his honesty and kindness that earned him the titles “Sadiq” and “Ameen”.  He forgave all men after conquering Mekkah even though the Mekkah was the inhabitant of worst enemies of Islam and of Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) himself. He preached his followers kindness and morality and made it a religious obligation.best couple

Pedophilia: What is a Pedophile?

Let us analyze what is Pedophilia, types of pedophiles and personality traits of each Pedophile and seek these traits in Prophet’s life if they ever existed in him. What is Pedophilia? DSM-IV and DSM-IV-TR define pedophilia as “recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving activity with a prepubescent child or children (generally 13 years or younger).”  Pedophilia is a personality disorder in which a person is sexually attracted to children both male and female. Pedophiles can be homosexual and heterosexual but the heterosexual pedophiles are more than homosexual pedophiles i.e. 11:1.  Pedophiles like to be surrounded by children all the time. They work as teachers, boy scouts leaders, counselors, child care providers etc, in-fact any profession that will allow them to interact with children in their ‘preferred age range’. Pedophiles are narcissistic by nature and their bragging come across as narcissistic. Pedophiles usually prefer a specific age limits for their targets and they ever go beyond that range. Pedophiles first work hard to establish themselves as pious and virtuous beings and once people started trusting them, they start the ‘seduction process with children so that nobody ever give them a suspicious look. First, they become the closest friend of children by giving gifts, telling jokes and anything that makes a child happy. Children started trusting them and share their pains and sorrows and day to day affairs, the children become so attach with them that the pedophiles blackmail them after molesting them i.e. they say “If you say this, I’ll tell your parents this…..” best couple

They get to know their victims so well that they know how to manipulate and confuse them. They are mainly two types of Pedophiles:

1. Situational Pedophiles.

2. Preferential Pedophiles.


These pedophiles are the most stable ones. They go after any defenseless person such as elders, emotionally handicapped etc. They like the seduction process. It has three sub types.best couple

a. Regressed Pedophiles: They have a hard time in interaction with adults. They usually hunt female victims but if the stressed becomes too much, they will go after any defenseless person.Best Couplebest couple

b. The indiscriminate Pedophiles: They are often calm and charismatic and always go after children in their preferred age range. They are very dangerous as their only aim is sexual fun at the expense of victims. They also keep on an eye on victim’s friend and chose their future victim carefully.best couple

c. The immature pedophiles: They are less manipulative and naive. They have a lot of stress to deal with. Their victims come from their own neighborhood and have preferred age range but sometimes deviate from it.


They have preferred age range and never deviate from it. It has two subtypes:best couple

a. Seductive pedophiles: They are homosexual male which only prefer male victims. They offer gifts and strength their friendship. After sometime, they introduce pornography and sex videos and after abusing their victims they confuse them and hold them responsible.

b. Sadistic pedophiles: They are very intelligent and cover long distances for their targets. They are grotesque when it comes to sexual preferences. They are mainly from upper to middle class families.best couple

*TRAITS OF PEDOPHILES ACCORDING TO Psychiatric Times. Vol. 26 No. 6 June 8, 2009*

Now let’s take a look on the research of doctors, Lisa J. Cohen, PhD and Igor Galynker, MD, PhD. Dr Cohen is associate professor of clinical psychiatry and Dr Galynker is professor of clinical psychiatry and associate chairman for research in the department of psychiatry at Beth Israel Medical Center/Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York. Just to make this article terse and compact, I have summarized their research into the following points but before I present you the traits of pedophilia, I want to inform you that there is no way we can detect the exact reason of  pedophilia, the research done so far comes from the victims or the criminals themselves.  According to their work on pedophilia gives the following traits,

1) They both have motivational and impaired inhibition. In addition, neurological abnormalities may pertain to either motivational or inhibitory dysfunction.best couple

2) The possible motivational factors include social anxiety and the abused-abused theory. This suggests that a pedophile’s own history of childhood sexual abuse predisposes him or her to pedophile tendencies. Indeed this is the one proposed etiological factor that has received robust support in the literature. Estimates of the incidence of childhood sexual abuse in pedophiles’ histories range from 40% up to 100% (Freund K, Kuban M. The basis of the abused abuser theory of pedophilia: a further elaboration on an earlier study. ArchSexBehav.1994; 23:553-563& also from Knopp F, Lackey L. Female sexual abusers: a summary of data from 44 treatment providers. Orwell, VT: The Safer Society Program of the New York State Council of Churches; 1987.)

3) They remarked, “We have suggested that abuse sustained during early childhood may result in neuro development abnormalities that predispose to pedophilic sexual desire. Nonetheless, most studies suggest that a sizable proportion of pedophiles were not abused as children.”

This mean that it is true for ‘true pedophiles’ but we can’t rely on it when it comes to opportunistic ones. The report defines true pedophiles and opportunistic pedophiles as:

“True pedophiles are those who show persistent and focused sexual attraction to prepubescent children. They show specific arousal to pedophilic stimuli on physiological measures of sexual arousal and have repeated sexual encounters with or recurrent sexual urges toward children. Opportunistic pedophiles have less of a focused sexual attraction to children. Their sexual engagement with children may depend on circumstances, such as the availability of a child victim, dis inhibition secondary to substance abuse, or difficulty in connecting with an adult sexual partner.”

(Cohen LJ, Nikiforov K, Gans S, et al. Heterosexual male perpetrators of childhood sexual abuse: a preliminary neuropsychiatric model. Psychiatr Q. 2002 😉

4) Possible inhibitors include impulsive, cognitive distortion and psychopathy. (Physcophath means a person with an antisocial personality disorder, manifested in aggressive, perverted, criminal, or amoral behavior without empathy or remorse)

5) Their sexual urges with children may be resulted due to poor self-confidence, or other personality traits that inhibit appropriate sexual relations with adults. While some other studies have reported elevated level of cluster C, poor self-esteem and impaired assertiveness.( Cohen LJ, Nikiforov K, Gans S, et al. Heterosexual male perpetrators of childhood sexual abuse: a preliminary neuropsychiatric model. Psychiatr Q.2002; 73:313-336.)

6) According to their own work on pedophilia, they found that it resulted due to impaired interpersonal skills while other reported low self confidence, feeling of shame, low self-esteem and social avoidance.best couple

7) Pedophiles normally have low IQ then the healthy ones. ( Cantor JM, Blanchard R, Robichaud LK, Christensen BK. Quantitative reanalysis of aggregate data on IQ in sexual offenders. Psychol Bull. 2005;131: 555-568).

8. According to the report, one finding that has robust support is the tendency toward grossly distorted thinking. Pedophiles commonly experience their sexual urges as ego-syn tonic. Presumably in an effort to justify behavior that is widely socially condemned, pedophiles frequently rationalize, minimize, and normalize their sexual interaction with children, sometimes to the point of delusional idealization. Relatedly, several studies have noted high levels of schizotypal and other cluster A personality traits in this population.

Let us give a brief look at two types of clusters found in pedophile i.e. Cluster A and Cluster C. Since report only highlighted avoid ant disorder of cluster C and schizotpyal of cluster A and ‘some’ other traits from both of them thus to save myself from uttering any generalities and vague statements, I will cover the entire gamut of both the clusters.best couple

CLUSTER A: It has three sub types which are:best couple

Schizoid Personality Disorder (SPD):

A person must possess following traits in order to classify in this category (at least four should be present)

  • neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family
  • almost always chooses solitary activities
  • has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person
  • takes pleasure in few, if any, activities
  • lacks close friends or confidantes other than first-degree relatives
  • appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others
  • shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity. Best Couple
Schizotypal Personality Disorder (SPD):

A person must possess following traits before he/she should be classified in this category (at least five should be found):

  • Ideas of reference
  • Odd beliefs or magical thinking that influences behavior and is inconsistent with sub cultural norms
  • Unusual perceptual experiences, including bodily illusions
  • Odd thinking and over-elaborate speech
  • Speciousness or paranoid thought process
  • Inappropriate or constricted affect (externally displayed emotion or mood)
  • Behavior or appearance that is odd, eccentric, or peculiar
  • Lack of close friends other than first-degree relatives
  • Excessive social anxiety that does not diminish with familiarity and tends to be associated with paranoid fears.
Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD):

A person must possess the following traits before him/she should be included in this category (at least four should be present):

  • Unfounded suspicion that others are exploiting, harming, or deceiving him or her
  • Preoccupation with unjustified doubts about the loyalty of friends or associates
  • Reluctance to confide in others because of unwarranted fear that the information will be used against him or her
  • finds hidden demeaning or threatening meanings into benign remarks or events
  • persistently bears grudges and is unforgiving
  • frequently perceives attacks on his or her character and is quick to react angrily or to counterattack
  • unjustified suspicions regarding fidelity of spouse or sexual partner.Best Couple

CLUSTER C: It also has three sub types:

Avoid ant Personality Disorder (AVPD):

A person should have following traits before he/she should be included in this category:

  • avoids activities involving interpersonal contact
  • Unwilling to get involved due with people unless certain of being liked
  • shows restraint in intimate relationships due to a fear of shame or ridicule
  • marked preoccupation of being rejected or criticized by others
  • inhibited in new social situations because of feelings of inadequacy
  • views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others
  • reluctant to take personal risks or engage in new activities, for a fear of being embarrassed.Best Couple
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD):

A person should have the following traits before he/she should be classified in this category (at least four should be present):

  • Perfectionism that interferes with task completion.
  • Excessive devotion to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships (not accounted for by obvious economic necessity).
  • Being over conscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values (not accounted for by cultural or religious identification).
  • Inability to discard worn-out or worthless objects even when they have no sentimental value.
  • Reluctance to delegate tasks or to work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things.
  • A miserly spending style toward both self and others; money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes.
  • Rigidity and stubbornness.Best Couple
Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD):

A person should have following traits before he/she should be classified in this category (at least five criteria must be fulfilled):

  • Difficulty making everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice
  • needs others to assume responsibility for most major areas of his or her life
  • Difficulty expressing disagreement with others
  • Difficulty initiating projects or doing things on his or her own
  • goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others
  • exaggerated fears of being unable to care for him or herself
  • urgently seeks another relationship when a close relationship ends
  • preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of him or herself.

Note:  Above mentioned criteria is according to DSM-IV-TR (Diagnostic and Statistical manual of mental disorder) published by US government.  Readers must know that all people who have these clusters are not necessarily pedophiles .Even the report suggests “it is unlikely that these traits are specific to pedophilia.” The exact reason of how these clusters or personality disorders caused is still unknown today.


Since we are discussing the pedophilia which is placed in the fourth category of perversions by Kernberg (2006) thus I consider this as my duty to discuss also what is taking place in a pedophile’s mind which caused to him to commit such a shameful act. Since Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is also called as ‘pervert’ (God forbid) which is considered ‘derogatory’ and in psychological literature the term used is ‘paraphilia’ and pedophilia falls under the category of paraphilia. Dr.Estela V Weldon remarked, “Pedophilia belongs to the group of disorder referred to as ‘the perversions’.Best Couplebest couple


Dr.Estela V Weldon founder and president for life International Association for Forensic Psychotherapy London describe the mental mechanism of a pervert in her article “Specific Characteristics of pedophilia amongst other Male and Female Perversions” on page 2 as “In perversion, sexual anxiety appears as a result of conflict between the id and the superego, in which the id titillates the ego with the bizarre fantasy. The id puts pressure on the ego to be partly, or temporarily, corrupted by its increasing needs (see graph). The ego, supported by the superego, fights against the acting out of the fantasy since it is felt to be incompatible with the ego’s sense of integrity. Thus anxiety increases, and immediate action is demanded. Eventually, under the increasing pressure from the id, the ego is corrupted and succumbs to the ‘acting-out’. The action has become temporarily ego-syntonic (actions consistent with one’s self-image), thus allowing the perversion to take place. The goal, which is the release of hostile sexual anxiety, is essential. The hostility is related to revenge for an early trauma associated with early gender humiliation and/or tremendous fears of not being in control when facing the imagined loss of the most important person (primary object). However, the sense of well-being achieved is of short duration. It is immediately afterwards superseded by feelings of guilt, self-disgust, shame and depression. The “acting out” is again experienced as ego-dystonic (actions not inconsistent with self image), and the circular motion starts up once more.”Best Couple


For the readers who are unaware of terms like id, ego and super ego which are considered as brain mechanism not brain parts, id is the ‘pleasure seeker’ with no moral values, ego is the mechanism that allows the selective portion of id to take place which are accepted by the society as a whole, super ego is the mechanism that regulates actions of ego and if ego does something bad it creates the sense of guilt and remorse. Bizarre fantasies (sexual fantasies) are experienced by pedophiles due to pedophilic traits and as the pressure develops, ego is weakened and unable to defend further attack from id so due to great pressure (stress), ego perform the action as suggested by id as ego-syntonic. This sexual release is due to molester’s own childhood experienced or some other factor but it must come out so as to relieve the stress. The action is later superseded by feeling of shame, guilt and remorse and the release is experienced as ego-dystonic as against the interest of the ego. The absence or inability to mourn is associated to early experience of not having place in the world.best couple

*Darwin Dorr’s concept of pedophile*

Let’s view Darwin Dorr point of view regarding pedophilia in the book Psychopath: antisocial, criminal, and violent behavior By Theodore Millon, Erik Simonsen, Morten Birket-Smith, Roger D. Davis, He says,”Clinicans know much about the dynamics of physcopath, and I am asserting that many of these elements of physcopath are also present in pedophile.” (pg.304). It means that according to his observation pedophilia and physcopahty share some common traits, although psychopath and pedophile are two different persons but since they have some common traits that is why I pick this is so that I don’t want to leave a single room for the critics to criticize. He also remarked, “I have been influenced also by the theoretical contribution of Kernber (1984), Yochelson and Same now (1976), same now (1984) and Meloy (1988), which examine the psychodynamics of physcopathic personality. The authors outline a distinctive sequence of cognitions and emotions in the physcopath that lead to acts of predation. The crux of their work is important to the subject of this chapter in the revelation that pedophilia is most decidedly an act of physcopathic predation…” (pg.307). According to him the physcopath dreads the opposite of grandiose state which is also known as “Zero State”. In this state, self-esteem plummets to rock bottom and a feeling of worthlessness, hopelessness, futility develops in which there is a belief that thoughts and feelings are transparent to others.  This state is depressive but the primary emotion is ‘rage’ & this is fueled by envy and greed for what others have but a physcopath does have it. Youchelson and Samenow (1977) have emphasized that physcopath are envy of what others are (full human being with a genuine sense of self-worth), not what others have. These authors have explained that “Depression in the criminal is basically an angry state in which he blazes at the injustice of the world” and also he resents and covets the full humanness of others.  He/she seeks to own (steal, possess, conquer) and/or to devalue (destroy, punish, diminish, ruin) the other. In any case the resulting behavioral pattern is predation in which there is no concern for the fate of the object but instead in these condition of anger, frustration, loneliness and impaired self-esteem there is a strongly felt sense of deprivation that may precipitate sexual aggression. In case of the pedophile it is a minor who is punished and destroyed. He agrees with Mayer’s views, “Mayer has emphasized that the dynamics of power, including control and dominance, prevail in the psychology of child molester. She also notes their difficulty with anger control and anger expression. In addition, Mayer has found pedophiles view children as object of possession without rights. She points out that certain personality with low impulse control, low frustration tolerance, frustrated dependency needs and needs for immediate gratification for their desires. Mayer has noted as well that alcohol abuse plays a role in the cycle of sexual abuse. Furthermore, she suggests that approximately 80% of pedophiles were themselves molested as children. She theorizes that pedophile perpetuate abuse because of their own displaced anger. That is, molesters continue to harbor anger towards the perpetrators who originally molested them, but displace this anger onto even younger children. Mayer goes on to describe molester’s tendency to use rationalization, minimization and denial. She observes that often pedophiles will claim that their own behavior is perfectly normal and that frequently they will blame the children for having behaved seductively. An overall lack of social conscience in a pedophile’s action is noted, and how frustration tolerance and manipulative are seen as well. In addition, the pedophiles dis trustfulness and inability to express guilt or remorse are described.” Long, Wuesthoff, and Pitchers (1989) observed negative emotional states such as loneliness, worthlessness, depression, anger or resentment similar to ‘zero state’. Jerkins Hall states: “Sexual offenders have the same flaws in their decision making as other criminals. They have the problem of foreseeing long-term consequences (positive or negative). Like psychopaths pedophile show great show great concern for personal needs and little consideration for the need of others. In actuality, personal needs are usually satisfied by manipulating and controlling the behaviors of others. This description could easily be applied to most of the pedophiles as well. Darwin Dorr described the criteria of a pedophile as stated in DSM-IV as “The DSM-IV diagnostic criteria for a pedophile are as follow. First, for 6 months or more, the person has had strong, recurring sexually stimulating urges, fantasies, or behaviors involving sexual activity with a child or children below the age of puberty (usually 13 years of age of younger). Second, the sexual urges fantasies, or behaviors result in clinically meaningful difficulties or distress at work, in social contexts, or in other major areas of functioning. Third, the person 16 years of age or older, and is at least 5 years older than the child or children in question. Individuals in late adolescence who maintains long standing sexual relationships with 12-13 years old are not classified as pedophiles.” Like physcopaths, lower-level defenses e.g. splitting, primitive denial, rationalization, avoidance, and quasi-delusion, as well as acting out are also prominent in pedophiles.Best Couple best couple

*Millon’s theory of personality*

Let us focus ourselves to the Millon’s theory of personality; Millon’s intergrative system examines four levels of the personality:


It includes the observable physical, verbal behaviors that can be read and identified by others and the individual’s style of relating others. Pedophiles tend to be impulsive or at least exhibit poor control over their impulses. Marlatt (1989) has captured this trait of pedophilia in his concept of the PIG. They tend to act hastily; to be shortsighted, incautious, and imprudent and to be ignorant of predictable consequences. The interpersonal behavior of a pedophile is also clearly irresponsible, untrustworthy and unable to abide by social codes, at least governing behavior with the children.Best Couple


This covers an individual’s thinking, internalized representation of significant others which may be experienced by the sensory modalities: visual, tactical etc as well as self-concept, the sense of ego, and the self. At phenomenological level, the cognitive style is described as ‘deviant’. They are disdainful of traditional ideals, fail to conform to social norms and are contemptuous of convention values. Once a pedophile told that this about his 6 year old step daughter that she liked sex! This is exemplified a remarkable cognitive deviancy. The pedophile’s internal representation to the child is debased: This child is viewed as object to provide gratification rather than as a separate being with needs and rights. There is enormous distortion of who the child really is. In some instances, a pedophile will physically harm a child, which represents the acting out of vengeful attitudes. The self-image of the pedophile is extremely distorted, there are example of pedophiles who were friends of their victim’s families, and who violated personal loyalties, friendships, and social obligations by becoming sexually involved with the children.Best Couple


It covers ‘regulatory mechanism’ that controls the sense of self and ‘morphological organization’ it refers to structural strength, interior congruity, and functional efficacy of the personality system. Consider Marlatt’s (1989) discussion of the PIG. The pedophile show little tendency to sublimate, Constraint is rarely used to modulate expression of offensive thoughts or to control malevolent action. Instead of restraining repugnant impulses, the pedophile acts them out directly, usually without guilt or remorse.Best Couple


It is related to ‘mood and temperament’. This domain is not as directly relevant to a description of the pedophile as some of the other Million domains are. However, it can be argued that the pedophile, by definition, is deficient in social charitableness as well as in compassion and remorse for the act. Furthermore, there is by definition, a disregard for the safety of children-and, for the matter for the pedophile’s own safety.

For a Muslims Response to this shameful attack, Read second part of the article:

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