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How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident In An Islamic Perspective

by | Nov 12, 2012

Self-esteem is an attitude toward the self-similar to a judgment of oneself. It means to reflect a person’s overall evaluation or appraisal of their strength and weaknesses.

Self-respect encompasses beliefs and emotions. Self-esteem provokes feelings of triumph, despair, pride, and shame. ‘The self-concept is what we think about the self; our positive or negative evaluations are how we feel about it.

Self-Esteem And Tawakkul; Strong Belief in Allah

Tawakkul is very important for self-esteem or self-confidence in Islam. Islam is the concept of one’s absolute confidence and trust in Allah, believing and knowing that nothing can happen to us or hurt us unless it is by the Will of Allah The Almighty.

The Holy Qur’an is explicitly addressed to the Muslims:

 ۖ فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُتَوَكِّلِينَ

“[Then] when you have decided on a course of action, put your trust in Allah: Allah loves those who put their trust in Him.

إِن يَنصُرْكُمُ ٱللَّهُ فَلَا غَالِبَ لَكُمْ ۖ وَإِن يَخْذُلْكُمْ فَمَن ذَا ٱلَّذِى يَنصُرُكُم مِّنۢ بَعْدِهِۦ ۗ وَعَلَى ٱللَّهِ فَلْيَتَوَكَّلِ ٱلْمُؤْمِنُونَ

If Allah helps you [believers], no one can overcome you. If He forsakes you, who else can help you? Believers should put their trust in Allah. 

[The Qu’ran 3: 159-160]”

Again Allah (SWT) asserts:

قُل لَّن يُصِيبَنَآ إِلَّا مَا كَتَبَ ٱللَّهُ لَنَا هُوَ مَوْلَىٰنَا ۚ وَعَلَى ٱللَّهِ فَلْيَتَوَكَّلِ ٱلْمُؤْمِنُونَ

Say, “Never will we be struck except by what Allāh has decreed for us; He is our protector.” And upon Allah, let the Believers rely on.

[AlQuran 9:51]

Self-confidence plays a vital role in self-identity. It can affect the dimensions of our whole life.

Trust in Allah and self-esteem is shown in A beautiful Qudsi hadeeth:

“‘O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me, and hope in Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam were your sins to reach the clouds in the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, and I shall forgive you. O son of Adam were you to come to Me with an Earthful of sins and were you then to face Me, without having associated anything with Me, I shall grant you an Earthful of pardon.'”

Maintain Balance in Every Aspect

Islam teaches us to maintain balance in every aspect of our life. Neither should we think low of ourselves, nor should we become arrogant in our life. Both arrogance and low self-esteem are considered two sides of the same coin, the coins of extremists, since both result from an imbalance in our lifestyle as both are extreme conditions. So, we should develop a state of balance in our life and strongly believe in Allah’s will.

How To Develop Self Confidence

Self-confidence can be gained by making yourself comfortable in your life. You can follow a few steps to develop self-esteem and be confident in your life without being arrogant.

  • Dress Neatly

You should not be extravagant in your clothing. Instead, you should dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable.

Don’t spend too much money on your clothing but buy selected clothes that you think will look good.

 يَٰبَنِىٓ ءَادَمَ خُذُوا۟ زِينَتَكُمْ عِندَ كُلِّ مَسْجِدٍ وَكُلُوا۟ وَٱشْرَبُوا۟ وَلَا تُسْرِفُوٓا۟ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُسْرِفِينَ

O children of Adam, take your adornment [i.e., wear your clothing] at every masjid, and eat and drink, but be not excessive. Indeed, He likes not those who commit excess.

(7:31)

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said one day in his khutbah:

“Allah has revealed to me that you should be humble so that no one will boast to anyone else and no one will transgress against anyone else.”

(Muslim)

The Prophet (s) considered dressing well and looking good as an indicator of the blessings of Allah. As reported in Tafsir Ibn Kathir, he (s) said,

“Allah loves to see the result of His blessing on His creatures.”

When you are comfortable in your clothes, you will develop self-esteem. You will feel good meeting people and having a chat with them. In short, your dress depicts your personality. Indeed when you show yourself neat, it will increase your worth.

  • Monitor Your Acts

When you are good in your acts, this will bring confidence in yourself. First of all, Be honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses. You should know what you can and what you can’t. What you know and what you have yet to learn.

Hazrat Umar (R.A), one of the most influential Islamic leaders of all time, used to reflect daily on what he had done and think about how to improve.

Before going to bed, recall all the acts of your day. Talk to yourself about what you have done well in the day that you should continue and think of your evil acts and try to expel them from your life. When you are monitoring your acts yourself, no one else will come and complain to you about your acts. As a result, no one can degrade you, and you will be a self-esteem and respectable person in society.

  • Keep Track of What You Achieve

Keep track of your achievements to keep your motivation up and continue to grow self-esteem.

Over time, you can see your abilities growing and your comfort zone expanding. If you write down your achievements, you can tell yourself how much you have achieved in the past and how you can struggle hard to achieve more.

When you see this pattern repeating in different areas of your life, little steps gradually lead you to greater self-esteem and achievements. So, it helps you to face new situations.

You mustn’t do this to boost; these listings of your achievements should be just to bug you.

  • In Either Case: Have Faith In Yourself

Don’t think yourself dull. You are a deputy of Allah, The Almighty, on this earth. He has taught you all the powers to make you a good person.

Tell yourself that you are a wonderful person who deserves to be happy. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself. Because If you’ve made mistakes that prevent you from believing you deserve to be happy, take measures to relieve that guilt. Apologize to people you may have hurt (if possible), learn from those mistakes, and forgive yourself.

  • Volunteer

وَلْتَكُن مِّنكُمْ أُمَّةٌ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى ٱلْخَيْرِ وَيَأْمُرُونَ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ ٱلْمُنكَرِ ۚ وَأُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُفْلِحُونَ

And let there be [arising] from you a nation inviting to [all that is] good, enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong, and those will be successful.

(Surah Aal ‘Imraan:104)

Zaid ibn Thabit narrated the Prophet ﷺ said:

 “May Allah cause to have freshness and brilliance the man who hears what I say and keeps it in mind, then convey it to others.” 

(Ahmad, 5-183.)

If you start thinking about your fellow Muslims, you will be contributing to help them. And helping others will, In sha Allah, improve your self-esteem.

Here are some hundred tips for you to be confident in yourself. So, Explore yourself and tell us what can be more secrets for being confident in your life. Have a happy and confident and self-esteem life. 😆

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