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Be Confident; Develop Self Esteem

by | Nov 12, 2012

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Self-esteem is known as an attitude toward the self and is similar to a judgment of oneself. It means to reflect a person’s overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own strength and weaknesses.

The self respect encompasses beliefs and emotions. It is self esteem that provokes the feelings of triumph, despair, pride and shame. ‘The self-concept is what we think about the self;the positive or negative evaluations of the self, is how we feel about it.

Self Esteem And Tawakkul; Strong Belief in Allah

Tawakkul  is the very important for self esteem or self confidence in Islam.  Islam is the concept of  one’s absolute confidence and trust in Allah,  believing and knowing that nothing can happen to us or hurt us unless it is by Will of  Allah The  Almighty.

In the Holy Qur’an  it is addressed specifically to the Muslims:

[Then] when you have decided on a course of action, put your trust in Allah:  Allah loves those who put their trust in Him.  If Allah helps you [believers], no one can overcome you.  if he forsakes you, who else can help you?  Believers should put their trust in Allah. [The Qu’ran 3: 159-160]

Again Allah (swt) asserts:

Say: Only what Allah has decreed will happen to us. He is Our Master: let the believers put their trust in Allah.

[The Qur’an, Surah 9:51] 

Self-confidence plays a important role in self identity .  It can affect the dimensions of our whole life.

Trust in Allah and self esteem is shown in A beautiful Qudsi hadeeth:

“‘O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me, and hope in Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds in the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I shall forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with an Earthful of sins and were you then to face Me, without having associated anything with Me, I shall grant you an Earthful of pardon.'”

Keep Balance:

Islam teaches us to maintain a state of balance in every aspect of our life. Neither we should think low of our self nor should we become arrogant in our life.  Both arrogance and low self-esteem are considered two sides of the same coin, ; the coins of extremists, since both results from an imbalance in our life style as both are the extreme conditions. So, we should develop a state of balance in our life have strong belief on the will of Allah.

How To Develop Self Confidence

Self confidence can be gained by making yourself comfortable in your life. You can follow few or more steps to develop self esteem and be confident in your life with being arrogant.

1.     Dress Neatly

You should not extravagant in your clothing. Rather you should dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable.

Don’t spend too much money in your clothing but buy selected clothes that you think will look good enough on you.

“Certainly He (Allah) likes not the extravagant.” (7:31)

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said one day in his khutbah:

“Allah has revealed to me that you should be humble so that no one will boast to anyone else and no one will transgress against anyone else.”

(Muslim)

The Prophet (s) considered dressing well and looking good as an indicator of the blessings of Allah.  As reported in Tafsir Ibn Kathir, he (s) said,

Allah loves to see the result of His blessing on His creatures.”

When you are comfortable in your clothes this will definitely develop a feeling of self confidence. You will feel it good to meet people and have a chat with them. In short your dressing   depicts your personality.  surely when you are showing yourself neat and tidy it will increase your worth.

2.     Monitor Your Acts

When you are good in your acts this will bring confidence in yourself.  First of all Be honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses.  You should know what you can and what you can’t.  What you know and what you have yet to learn.

Hazrat Umar (R.A), one of the most effective Islamic leaders of all times, used to reflect daily what he done, and think about how he could improve.

Before going to bed recall all the acts of your day. Talk to yourself that what you have done well in the day that you should continue and think of your bad acts and try to expel them from your life. When you are monitoring your acts yourself no one else will come and complaint you on your acts. As a result no one can degrade you and you will be confident and respectable person of the society.

3.      Keep Track of What You Achieve

To keep your motivation up, and to continue to grow your confidence, keep track of your achievements.

Over time, you can see your abilities growing and your comfort zone expanding. If you write down your achievements you can tell yourself that how much you have achieved in past and how you can struggle hard to achieve more.

When you see this pattern repeating in different areas of your life. little steps gradually leading you to greater self-confidence, and greater achievements.So, it helps you to face new situations.

It is important that you should not do this for boosting, these listings of your achievements should be just to bug up your own self.

4.      In Either Case: Have Faith In Yourself

Don’t think yourself dull. You are a deputy of Allah The Almighty on this earth. HE has inculcated all the powers of making you a good person.

Tell yourself that you are a wonderful person who deserves to be happy. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself. Because If you’ve made mistakes that prevent you from believing that you deserve to be happy, take measures to relieve that guilt. Apologize to people you may have hurt (if possible), learn from those mistakes and forgive yourself.

5.     Volunteer

Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good, enjoining Al-Ma’roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and forbidding Al-Munkar (polytheism and disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden). And it is they who are the successful.”

(Surah Aal ‘Imraan:104)

Zaid ibn Thabit narrated the Prophet ﷺ said:

 “May Allah cause to have freshness and brilliance the man who hears what I say and keeps it in mind, then convey it to others.” 

(Ahmad, 5-183.)

If you start thinking about you’re your fellow Muslims you will be contributing to help them. And helping others will In sha Allah improve your self esteem.

Here are some in hundred tips for you to be confident in yourself.So, Explore your own self and tell us what can be more secrets for being confident in your life. Have a happy and confident life.  😆

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