Reviewed by: Ustadha Al-shaimaa Nabil Abd-alfattah Abd-Allah
“Oh come on! Why should I be apology? It wasn’t a big deal! I can’t say sorry; my fault wasn’t that big, he/she must apologize first. Oh! It’s so embarrassing to be apologetic.
So what if I did wrong! People make a mistake; it doesn’t mean I must degrade myself by apologizing in front of her/him”. To accept the mistake and apologize is a great virtue as accepting an apology. Both are equally challenging but rewarding for the Muslim.
Seeking an apology or saying sorry is one of the most significant hard jobs in the world. It’s human psychology; it never accepts inferiority. The same is the case with accepting the apology, as taking revenge is also one of the major intrinsic habits of a human being.
Human Behaviors towards Relationships:
There are very few human kinds, which are generous and kind-hearted enough to say and accept sorry readily. That’s why Islam emphasizes both of them. ALLAH Subhanahu Waa Tala likes people who repent willingly and who is forgiving.
Apologizing
Often people are reluctant to apologize out of ego or hesitation, even though they know their mistake. And the even worse case is when one is not even ready to accept his/her mistake. Such wrong attitudes are the reason for sour relationships. We can’t have healthy relationships if we don’t learn how to handle mishaps and humbly ask for forgiveness. Islam greatly stresses the essence of apology. It not only emphasizes verbally but we do find such practical examples in many places. One of the examples is, when the brothers of Prophet Joseph apologized to their father prophet Yaqoob, saying that
“oh our father, seek refuge for us, for verily we are in the wrong.”
Parts of Apology:
Just saying the word sorry isn’t enough, the apology has three parts.
1) Say sorry.
2) Accept your mistake/fault.
3) What should you do in return to fulfill the loss?
All of the three parts are compulsory, and your apology is incomplete if you miss any one of them. Most people miss the third part. They do say sorry and do accept mistakes but forget to fix the trouble they created.
“It is not lawful for a Muslim to desert (stop talking to) his brother beyond three nights, the one turning one way and the other turning to the other way when they meet, the better of the two is one who is the first to greet the other.” [Bukhari]
“Pardon them and overlook – Allah loves those who do good” (Qur’an 5:13)
Attitude towards Apology:
Often, when we are hurt or displeased, our natural response is to harbor anger and resentment, which can lead to negative spiritual, moral, and health effects. Following the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), we should adopt a positive approach by forgiving willingly, especially when someone sincerely asks for forgiveness. Forgiveness is one of Allah’s greatest attributes, and He wants to see this quality reflected in us. By forgiving, we not only please Allah but also free ourselves from unnecessary mental stress.
“Those who control their anger and are forgiving towards people; Allah loves the good.” (Qur’an, 3: 134)
See the beautiful verse! What we get in reward of pardoning and forgiving people from ALLAH S.W.T! Along with otherworldly benefits, one attains love of ALLAH. You get the love of Lord of Lords in return for letting the hatred and anger go of your heart. Isn’t it an excellent deal?
In other words, it’s a trade of love, with ALLAH and people also!
Super Article.. Jazakallah for posting .. learned lot of things.. 🙂
wa iyyaka brother 🙂 keep visiting our site 🙂
Jazakumullahu khairan for enlightening us.I’ve learned from this post and am insha Allah going to put it into practice.God bless you.
Thanks for enlightening us.Am insha Allah going to put it into practice.God bless you.
IN SHA ALLAH 🙂 may ALLAH help you to practice it.
JAZAKALLAH for your appreciation. keep visiting our website.
Alhamdullilahi for this lesson. I amgoing to put it into practice right away
JZAKALLAH for appreciation . keep visiting our website.
mashaallah 4enlightining us…3rd april 2014,at 12pm
Jaza’ak Allah Sister keep visiting us and Keep reading 🙂
Jazakallah sister, good work deserves appreciation.
Wa Iyyaka Kaleem Ahmed.
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If there are people with unreasonable demands that we can’t fulfil , should we still apologize? Will they learn that they’re unreasonable that way? Will they stop their demands? Just a small example, if someone calls me and expects to talk non stop for a long period without realizing that I might have some other work or I might be sick. And then they blatantly say that they can’t talk at times when they can’t. And they get upset at us not picking up the phone and blame us for not fulfilling huqooq ul ibaad, then how should we react to it? I’m OK with apologizing if I can be sure that their demands are not going to become higher.
@Confused !
our aim is to spread positivity being a muslim. You will not find a proper fatwa on every single tiny issue. Happy life is build on cooperation, not rulings. you should frankly convey that you are busy some times and can not pick up calls etc, or cant talk for long. however, convey it in the best possible manner, with out hurting sentiments of other party. yes ! you have right to live your own life, and you can not always be available ! and your deen provides you this right. if i am not wrong, there are verses in quran which guide about visiting others home. it tells to knock the door, it tells to visit in appropriate hours, and not to sit idle for long time while on a visit to some one’s home. calling on phone comes under same ruling.
like we can get guidance from this hadeeth.
«إِذَا اسْتَأْذَنَ أَحَدُكُمْ ثَلَاثًا فَلَمْ يُؤْذَنْ لَهُ فَلْيَنْصَرِفْ»
(If any one of you asks for permission three times and it is not given, then let him go away.)”
i hope you are satisfied now.
Islam is fair and just.
Someone falsely accusing you of;
-Gayism
– Being illegitimate son
-Thug (who stole father’s money)
-Insults your wife
-Dares to fight your wife
-Accused you of wanting to rape her when she was 12 years
All these accusations cannot be forgiven unless with an apology that contains the THREE components; Regret,Remorse and Sincerity.
Insincere apologies do not last long and breed more problems and enemity in future.
@Ramadhan
indeed !
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Thanks for this motivation… Really i learned a lot from it…
@najila
we are happy that you found motivation via our forum 🙂
At least the reward would be shared now 😉
keep visiting us.